"It's Not About You"

A wonderful article by David Brooks in the New York Times: "It's Not About You." It's a couple months old, from the height of college graduation season last spring. Such good stuff that I had a hard time narrowing down the excerpt. Here's a taste; check out the whole (brief) article here.

...many graduates are told to: Follow your passion, chart your own course, march to the beat of your own drummer, follow your dreams and find yourself. This is the litany of expressive individualism, which is still the dominant note in American culture.

But, of course, this mantra misleads on nearly every front.

College grads are often sent out into the world amid rapturous talk of limitless possibilities. But this talk is of no help to the central business of adulthood, finding serious things to tie yourself down to. The successful young adult is beginning to make sacred commitments — to a spouse, a community and calling — yet mostly hears about freedom and autonomy.

Today’s graduates are also told to find their passion and then pursue their dreams. The implication is that they should find themselves first and then go off and live their quest. But, of course, very few people at age 22 or 24 can take an inward journey and come out having discovered a developed self....

Most people don’t form a self and then lead a life. They are called by a problem, and the self is constructed gradually by their calling.

I'm pleased that he named this reality that life is about commitment and calling. As important as it is to have a solid sense of our own identity, we cannot develop that identity in a vacuum. An outward focus and sense of responsibility to people and things beyond ourselves is very important and too easily overlooked.